One-tenth of a point from "Normal"

Livestrong just calculated my BMI for me. At 5'7", 160.2 lbs., my BMI is 25.09, or 1/10th of a point from "normal" (whatever that means!).

The thing is, I've actually been at this point since LATE August, since right before we went away to Montana. I must fear "normalcy".

At my last Jenny Craig appointment, Jean and I talked for a while about why I was struggling. From a truly pragmatic (as opposed to emotional/psychological) standpoint, we surmised it was because I stopped planning each week with diligence.

I was still doing a decent job of recording things on Livestrong, but not planning ahead. It is pretty easy for me to know a week out when I'll have events or meals that will cause me to deviate from Jenny Craig. If I take a few minutes to plan for them, it makes a big difference:

• For one, it enables me to better stick to Jenny because I've figured out how to work it into my schedule properly. For example, if I'm going out to lunch I can minimize damage by eating my less caloric Jenny lunch for dinner that evening.

• I can also steel myself ahead of time to the idea of no bread and butter, no dessert.

• I also think about eating something ahead of time to fill me up.

• When I really stick to the Jenny plan, I also remember to eat the small and filling food they recommend, like a 6 oz. fat free yogurt. That fills me up so I'm less inclined to instead make a bad use of that 100 calorie wedge.

Of course, when Jean and I talked, since I didn't plan ahead, when she asked me what challenges I had on my calendar for the week ahead, I had no answer.

That was last Thursday evening. So, with a combination of "no schedule" or "no recollection of a schedule", I managed to eat out two times Saturday (lunch, unscheduled, w/Hazel, and dinner, scheduled, w/friends), once Monday (lunch, scheduled, w/Dawn), once Tuesday (unscheduled - got last-minute tickets to Indianapolis Economic Club event from CFO!), and once Wednesday (scheduled - fundraiser for local independent Catholic school).

My planning laxness rubbed off in other pernicious ways, such as sharing a bottle of Meritage with Pat in the evenings over 2 days. It's like a horrible snowball effect. Frankly, it is a miracle I didn't gain any weight (well 0.2 lbs.) since last Thursday.

When I forget to plan ahead, and the event is already upon me, my mindset tends to be, "oh well, I'm here and I have to eat!" Such a silly distinction, but it really seems to make a difference to me.

So today I sat down over my lunch hour to plan for next week. Lo and behold, I logged on to the JC website, and the last time I really mapped out a plan for the following week was Aug. 13th, JUST BEFORE the Montana trip. I came back from that, and have really dithered around ever since.

I think I start thinking its easy and its not work, when really, its like a Zombie battle. It takes CONSTANT vigilance and planning to succeed.

Ironically, when I don't plan, I start beating myself up even more, thinking I have done a horrible job and becoming increasingly less motivated. The reality is, while I haven't lost, I have held steady. So I am eating with a certain level of awareness I didn't have before, even if I'm not totally on top of things like I was in the past.

Moral of the story: I should cut myself some slack for maintaining, but recognize that planning ahead is key for me to see progress.

So now I'm all "planned out" for the coming JC week (Fri-Thurs). Fri/Sat/Sun at the cabin I'll be doing JC; if we do perchance go out to eat, I'll eat JC first and get a salad out. Tues Pat and I have dinner out before a play, and Weds he's meeting me for lunch at a Moroccan restaurant. I can manage all of these events.

I'm already feeling more "empowered." Jeez I HATE that word!