My cup is half full...and half empty...

My, that is profound.

I am down .6 lbs. this week. Not what I was looking for given I really re-motivated and stayed focused. However, I am officially in the 150s. Yeah! (It has taken me approximately seven weeks to lose a pound!)

The thing is, I was getting demoralized over the last few weeks because I felt like I was cheating and not being exact, and still losing, so I felt like I didn't deserve it, and so I kept sabotaging, and still losing. So it became a vicious circle. Now when I work on it again, a small improvement, but not unlike those I was seeing when I was cheating pretty regularly..

Truth be told, I did have two (planned) meals out (Tues night and Wed lunch) that probably impacted the scale:

• Tuesday night instead of dinner I ate apps and red wine at the IRT when we saw a play. The food sucked, and it reminded me why the "Freshman 15" are so horrible - - nothing was good or satisfying, so I kept on eating different things (even when full) just to see if there was something good out there. Had a mini BBQ pulled pork sand (just 1/2 the bun), two chicken satays (no peanut dipping sauce), two teriyaki steak skewers, and three small slices of beef (not ground) quesadilla (no guacamole or sour cream). Not healthy, but I did end the day easily in my calorie limit since I was careful otherwise, and didn't eat anything else at home.

• And Weds. Pat met me for lunch at Saffron, a new Moroccan restaurant. We shared an appetizer platter (hummus, a Moroccan variant on baba ganoush, and a spinach dip), and then I had a chicken tagine. I would have been OK but I totally over did it on the pita and this other Moroccan bread (and olive oil). Still easily within day's calories.

I know what you're thinking - salt! Its not the salt. I am a salt addict; I use tons of it every day (don't worry low blood pressure), so eating out didn't jack up my water retention any worse than normal.

It could simply be that last week's marathon of bad eating, plus those two late-in-week strays, may have just finally caught up with me.

That said, I am delighted to be officially in the 150s. Unfortunately, I have a bad weekend in store. My parents are coming in to town this evening and not leaving until MONDAY. Lots of meals already planned out, and I made this decadent chocolate cashew pie last night for my mom's birthday!

So basically, my goal for next Thurs is HOLD steady. I will watch what I consume, but I know I'll be off the reservation quite a bit.

I do think I'm also getting less nursing bang for buck now. And, now that I'm down 20 lb., I probably won't see a 1.5 lb. drop per week unless I put some muscle behind the dieting!

I'm OK, just a bit perplexed, and annoyed, especially going into this extended food fest weekend! Being around 158 certainly would have inspired me a bit more, but I will keep focused on the goal.