So much for thinking I'd turned a corner on my new found healthy lifestyle. I have been starving and mean since about 4pm this evening. (On a related note, I determined that string cheese just doesn't do it for me. I ate a piece today, and really felt I had wasted calories. I could've eaten like 8 of those things!)
So I get home at five to nurse V, and it is the third time in a row where I feel like either she's not getting enough or the pumping is not productive. Then, she spits up on me several times. So I guess she got some. I give H some yogurt and I roast cauliflower as an accompaniment to my JC fajitas (tasty!), and H has some cauliflower too. But I am still HONGRY!!! I eat 2T hummus and 9 rosemary & olive oil Triscuits and practically rip H's arm out of its socket for going after one of my precious Triscuits. Nice mom. The whole time I am wondering if I may simply be thirsty.
We then take the girls to the pool and have a nice time. We stop at CVS so Pat can pick up razors and an Rx, and he gets a Haagen-Daas bar to share with H. I don't even ask for a bite, because I am being militant.
But as soon as we get home I must eat again. First I get online to see how much I've consumed so far so that I can go nuts in a semi-controlled fashion (huh??). I see from Livestrong that for the last 2 days, each day I have consumed about 500 calories fewer than JC recommends, plus exercised pretty heavily. Wow! I may be genuinely hungry!
So I had a swiss cheese sandwich (360 cal) and a choc yogurt with a peach chopped into it. I guess the silver lining is I checked what I could eat and also tracked it, so why do I feel like I'm breaking my diet and bad?
Maybe it is because I feel that desperate, sabotage hunger coming on. A couple nights ago I saw a Steak 'n Shake commercial and the burgers and fries looked pretty gross to me. "Well," I sniffed, "I guess I've moved to a new level in my diet where I crave only healthful things." So much for that theory. Right now I would kill for some Steak 'n Shake.
Just me being overzealous about the diet and setting myself up to be disappointed Thurs. if I don't see some big numbers. Not even sure what number would please me because even at a successful weigh-in I will dwell on what could've been - how much less I might have weighed if I hadn't dilly-dallied around the last 2-3 weeks.
Right now I'm chewing my cuticles and would like to mainline some frosted brownies. Is it possible to have PMS-like symptoms at the time your period would fall even when you're not having your period because you're nursing? Must look into that. Need an excuse for moodiness and hunger.
Uggh. Pity party. Very humbling and highly irritating evening. Hope I don't come across like too much of a psycho.
Weight tracker
2 comments:
Hunger can really make you crazy. The fact that you didn't go crazy on the peanut butter is a huge success.
You need to eat when you're that hungry. But you also need to drink. When you started the bit about CVS I thought you were going to say Pat got you a BIG bottle of water and that drinking it helped. You should ALWAYS have a bottle of water waiting for you when you nurse at 5. A glass of milk wouldn't hurt either.
The swiss cheese sandwich wasn't that many calories, but it has a lot of fat.
I too have given up string cheese. Now I eat low fat cottage cheese with fruit instead. Much more filling. The non-fat version is just gross.
I think you should be proud of the choices you made!!
If you are nursing and ate 500 fewer calories than recommended and exercised a lot, of course you were crazy lunatic hungry. You answered your own question! Also, I think babies sometimes eat inconsistently and that makes your production and hunger go all over the place.
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