Hmmm....let's see. Right now I am very hungry, and have consumed not only my Jenny Craig ("JC" forevermore) lunch and a small tossed salad and grapes, but also my JC snack. I may need to go get something else to eat this afternoon, but right now I will muddle through it, drink some water, and see if it is just phantom hunger.
I'm 38, have a 2-yr-old daughter Hazel and a 3-month-old daughter Vivian. My husband is Pat. I am still nursing; I quickly lost about 20 lbs. after Vivian was born, and then stalled. That actually put me about 5 pounds above my pre-second-pregnancy weight. I started up JC when V turned 6 weeks because thems the rules at JC.
So right now I'm about 3 pounds above my pre-ever-being-pregnant, oh-my-God-how-did-I-get-so-fat? weight (on the home scale, in the a.m., au naturel). Some of my girlfriends know that real numbers; I'm too embarrassed to put them here. Suffice it to say I'd like to lose 25 pounds and then I'll re-evaluate the situation.
I like to believe I'm more committed to losing and keeping it off for a few reasons:
1) I'm in my late 30s and it will only get harder as I get older. I'm someone who already gains weight in the abdomen rather than the hips and derriere; I can't imagine what will become of me if I don't get myself to a fighting weight now. I already have a "thick" middle naturally, without the benefit of menopause.
2) We might go for one more kid. I'd like to get to a good fighting weight before we have another kid; that being said, I'm approaching 40 and so from my perspective, my window of action is quite narrow. If I keep on an additional 10 pounds after each kid, I'm totally hosed and will NEVER get this weight off (see #1 above).
3) I want to be a good role model for my daughters. It is increasingly difficult to say "no" to french fries for H when I'm shovelling them in in front of her when we're out. Plus, I'm worried that she will have weight problems growing up, so I need to set a good example for someone who may just naturally always struggle with weight.
Literally since she was born H has been obsessed with food. Her nursing style was voracious, and even now she is constantly asking for snacks and is entranced by food. She eats anything, which many people say is a good thing, in a "oh she's not fussy" way. And I agree. I love to tell people she eats scallops or calamari or liver pate, but that, coupled with her ability to eat very large portions of pasta, grilled cheese or PB&J sandwiches could be a sign of trouble.
In fact, her pediatrician expressed concern for that at her 2-yr. check up. He looked at me very sternly and said point blank, "That is NOT normal" when I explained her appetite. He says toddlers are generally very picky eaters and also are often too preoccupied to eat.
4) I'd like to be more attractive and fit for my husband. Pat always talks about the frumpy, complaining and bitter pear-shaped ladies at his office. I don't want to become that, and I don't want him to feel he's stuck with that for the rest of his life - we're still young for goodness sake!
5) I'd like to be more attractive and fit for myself. Err, maybe that should be first? When I had lost weight before, it was so fun to shop for and wear clothes and sizes I'd never worn in my life. And let's face it, the compliments were intoxicating. I'm highly motivated by positive feedback. I guess I can be vain, but it is fun to be attractive and noticed.
It was also interesting to see the changed responses I got from males I worked with, or anyone, male or female, that I hadn't seen in awhile. You could tell they were thinking, "Wow, she cleans up pretty well!" Frankly, it is embarrassing for me to have them seeing me back at not just my "before" picture, but before-squared, if you will.
**********So, I'm doing JC because I have had success with the program before and am not sure I can commit to making myself balanced, portion-controlled meals right now. It is enough that I am actually properly supplementing the basic JC menu with the appropriate amounts of fruit, veggies and dairy, and that I usually do 2-3 meals a week "on my own" for practice.
**********
I think sometimes I will use this blog to keep track of my eating, but I'm already keeping a log at livestrong.com so I don't feel the need to report here (although that might end up becoming the simpler option).
Mainly I am going to try reminding myself of things I've done that are good, and, to use business-speak, "areas of improvement."
So here goes:
The Good: Today I stared down one of those ridiculous office pitch-in buffets and it turned around and ran, tail between its legs. This one was "Christmas in July" with tons of Christmas cookies and dips, etc. Not ONE tray of veggies or fruits. I planned ahead and brought in fruit, and that is gone (by the way, so is my hunger!). Pat had a good idea, he said don't bring anything to the pitch-in and then you'll feel too guilty to partake. I did bring donut holes and did not partake. At least I didn't waste 2+ hrs and mess up the kitchen to make something homemade like I originally planned.
Other good things...been eating lots of fruits and veggies, been measuring portions like an anorexic, really trying hard to remember EVERYTHING I eat, including things I used to not count, like 1/2 and 1/2.
The Bad: I don't think I'm drinking enough water, and my milk production is becoming a problem. While I should be concerned for V's sake, I'm actually more concerned b/c when I stop nursing my JC-sanctioned calorie intake will drop like 1,000 calories!
Anyway, this is my first blog posting, for what it's worth.
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