Two compliments...

...from neighbors at our annual block party this weekend. Nice to hear; did not help me rein it in at said party. However, in general I've been very good this weekend, including a 2.5 mile walk pushing Hazel in a stroller, mixed with short, sporadic jogging bursts when she demanded to "go fast!" Mind you...when I say "short," I really mean "short," as in maybe one block, and when I say "sporadic," I really mean "sporadic," as in twice during the whole walk. Still, maybe next time it will be three short jogs!  We also walked Friday evening.  Nice to have nothing going Friday.  Both Friday and Sunday I was under my Livestrong calorie goal.  Saturday I feel like I totally went overboard (desserts [small portions, but nonetheless plural] and red wine), but in the end probably still just hit my Jenny limit of 2,300 calories.  Which brings me to my next point...

 

I'm wondering if I am misjudging the severity of my diet deviations/lapses.  I continue to be amazed that I am not really gaining, because I think I'm doing so bad. I've basically been plateaued, and been self-aware about the decision to essentially pull regular, structured exercise out of the equation.  Maybe I should realize I'm doing pretty well instead of beating myself up about it, and I'll be able to focus better and I'll feel better about doing the right things.  Right now, when I hold even or come down in weight, I feel like I don't deserve it because I think I've been so bad lately, but the scale is not really bearing it out. Whatever it is, beating myself up over it isn't the solution. I need to just move forward on plan instead of dwelling on past indescrtions, so to speak!

 

The weight thing has me flummoxed on another point.  At about 160, I am lower than I've been in quite some time, like 2004 or 2005.  But this weekend, I saw a few current candid shots of me and was quite alarmed by my belly. This pregnancy really did me in in terms of weight reallocation.  Wearing a pair of workout pants and a t-shirt I look FAT around the middle...much worse than I did when I weighed about 160 at any other time in my life (20s, early 30s, mid 30s). 

 

So where was the weight before? Was it better controlled under more stomach muscle? Have I really become one of those middle-aged ladies with a fat belly and no butt?  It's especially alarming because my chest is larger now due nursing, so that's probably five pounds difference on top of it all.  Who knows.